Unknown location: no date but probably circa 2005 based on her 9-11 denial and references to texting. Notebook. The diaries were kept in spiral-bound notebooks measuring 5”x7” with a total of about 290 pages filled with text, drawings, and doodles. Eight items are laid-in including a therapy appointment reminder, letter, two photos purportedly showing her demonic stalkers, and two drawings of male genitalia (one engorged and erect, the other amputated at the base of the shaft).
“Jessie” has titled her diary Jessica’s Bullshit Writings About Life: Anxiety Doom Anger Sad Pain Hide on the inside of the rear cover. Some of her entries include:
Descriptions, drawings, and photos of her encounters with “feeders of light” and her demons, one of whom she identifies as Erebus (the primordial Greek god of darkness). “I felt his breathing on my neck . . . a weird electricity ran through my body. . .. I wanted him to take me away to whatever dimension he came from to just swallow me whole and keep me protected from this world. . .."
Obsessions about a Yellowstone volcanic eruption/earthquake and the “Pole Shift” that will result in radiation, blackouts, infertility, and mass death.
Romantic anxieties over her simultaneous supportive relationship with male roommate and sexual relationship with a married man.
Numerology computations and references to Kabbalah. Nightmares about sinkholes.
Panic attacks, anxiety attacks, OCD, and Prozac.
Descriptions of sexual activities including masturbation, receiving oral sex, and intercourse including a double-page sketch of an erect penis in addition to the laid-in drawings.
Rantings about the 9-11 Twin Towers attacks being an “inside job” by the Bush administration, the New World Order, and 1450 military bases that she believes are hidden underground.
Gastrointestinal issues including stomach pains and bulimic episodes of “ravenous” overeating followed by forced vomiting.
Lyrics from the Doors' hit, People Are Strange. Very good. Item #009633 A disturbing window into the inner turmoil of an intelligent, but delusional, young woman who is crying out for help.
A disturbing window into the inner turmoil of an intelligent, but delusional, young woman who is crying out for help.